just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
