My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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