I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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