I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
