Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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