Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
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remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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