The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
