I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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