Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's blow job season.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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