i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
barbara walters just said penis...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
