Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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