what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You're like the curious george of whores
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
