What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize