do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
