Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
