We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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