my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
