My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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