A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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