She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
