i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
