I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
someone owes me an orgasm
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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