nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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