i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
