Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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