why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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