Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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