So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
