He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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