what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
