youre lurking in front of me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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