I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
