He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
