Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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