One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
