he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you win again, gameday.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
