I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize