so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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