i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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