For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
