living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
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I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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