how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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