saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
