I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
