You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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