ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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