we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
