i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
