It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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