come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize