Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
