What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
