AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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