someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
