it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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