The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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