Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hippo gnu deer
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
