Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
