Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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