Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So apparently I’m into choking now
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