super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
