is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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