he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.