she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The struggles of a small town man whore
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
