Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?

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(306): Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'? http://tfl.nu/gncd

Replies (14) Good night (5005) Bad night (1214)
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(520): View more from Arizona

please come you make the beer taste better

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(520): please come you make the beer taste better http://tfl.nu/dzlt

Replies (16) Good night (4904) Bad night (757)
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(718): View more from New York

we need to drink 2009 down the drain

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(718): we need to drink 2009 down the drain http://tfl.nu/q0df

Replies (16) Good night (5100) Bad night (736)
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(513): View more from Ohio

How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?

(1-513): View more from Ohio

The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.

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(513): How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region? (1-513): The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well. http://tfl.nu/bwog

Replies (28) Good night (1825) Bad night (5708)
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(819): View more from Quebec

FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.

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(819): FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party. http://tfl.nu/3wga

Replies (37) Good night (1077) Bad night (5394)
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(319): View more from Iowa

How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.

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(319): How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules. http://tfl.nu/ttz2

Replies (26) Good night (8218) Bad night (1552)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

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(504): I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this. http://tfl.nu/j9b2

Replies (10) Good night (4082) Bad night (1178)
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(650): View more from California

at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running

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(650): at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running http://tfl.nu/xnze

Replies (5) Good night (889) Bad night (2394)
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(630): View more from Illinois

At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us

(847): View more from Illinois

You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.

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(630): At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us (847): You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high. http://tfl.nu/59an

Replies (6) Good night (2862) Bad night (1428)
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(607): View more from New York

im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.

(607): View more from New York

way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses

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(607): im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour. (607): way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses http://tfl.nu/5by3

Replies (10) Good night (4806) Bad night (1358)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates

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(717): I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates http://tfl.nu/o8si

Replies (5) Good night (637) Bad night (1262)
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(734): View more from Michigan

If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.

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(734): If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date. http://tfl.nu/hoqh

Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (361)
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(503): View more from Oregon

You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.

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(503): You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure. http://tfl.nu/1pyv

Replies (2) Good night (842) Bad night (403)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.

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(724): Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol. http://tfl.nu/ynfj

Replies (1) Good night (679) Bad night (376)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I would do everything over again, except the fireball.

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(304): I would do everything over again, except the fireball. http://tfl.nu/xsan

Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (229)

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