You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on