I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon