Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You know i think she's just using me for sex

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

I hate you.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm

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(719): View more from Colorado

I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(636): View more from Missouri

Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?

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(909): View more from California

No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.

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(214): View more from Texas

you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?

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(551): View more from New Jersey

New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on

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