Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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