you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
