Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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