It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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