DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
