I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
