well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
