some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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