Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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