Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
