yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
