Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry PinkyEpicOopsies hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(586): View more from Michigan

is your mom at the bar?

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(678): View more from Georgia

I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me

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(512): View more from Texas

She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."

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(530): View more from California

As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"

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(519): View more from Ontario

Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

I'm in awe of how selfish that is.

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(607): View more from New York

his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.

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(315): View more from New York

He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer

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