had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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