i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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