I cannot find my penis.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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