He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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